How to Order Wine Without Looking Like an Asshole (

1. Look at the wine list before asking, “What kind of wines do you serve by the glass?” The list at my bistro’s extensive. If I’ve got to rattle off all the wines, you’re wasting my time. Forgot your reading glasses? I’ll lend you mine.

2. Don’t ask, “What’s cheap?”

3. We love selling glasses of wine! The restaurant makes more money per bottle that way! Pssst! It’s usually cheaper to buy the bottle.

4. No, you can’t taste every wine on the list before deciding on something.

5. Read the wine list. Note the prices!

6. Remember the mark up – Most establishments mark up the price of a bottle from 1 ½ to 5 times the wholesale price. (At my bistro the markup’s pretty low.) Since you’re paying so much I recommend getting something you can’t get at the gas station or Stew Leonard’s. But that’s just me.