Library Reference: Seeking Dante

From the Library Ninja, for my brother-in-law:

Patron walks into the library, which happens fairly often and comes over to the reference desk.
“I’m looking for Divine Comedy.” She asks.
“The world’s full of it, I suggest a newspaper or Fox News.” I reply.
“Hehe, I’m looking for the one by Dante.” She laughed, okay, she cool.
“Heaven, Hell or somewhere in between?” I ask.
“All three.”
“Not a problem.” I reply prodding the catalog into action.
“In Italian.” She says. Is that a challenge? Why’s it got to be like that?
“Le parla L’Taliano Senorina?” LN knows Italian. Among a litany of skills from basket weaving to skeet shooting, LN is down with Italiano.
“What?” She says. If you’re going to ask for a copy in Italian, you should know Italian. Don’t try to be pretentious, I mastered pretentiousness as an art form years ago.
“Hrm? Nothing. I’ll spare you jokes of having Beatrice show you to the shelf, or having to traverse the 9 levels of the library, it’s up one flight on the right.”

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